Scared

Friday 30th July 2010

School is out.

For six whole weeks.

Hmm…

This fact has some serious implications.

1) My eldest son Zac will be distressed and out-of-sorts, away from the routine and structure of his Special School. Even with an array of wonderful students lined up to help me look after him and the two littler children, it will be a real challenge to occupy him as he doesn’t play with toys, watch TV, engage in activities, and has the attention span of a gnat (he has ADHD as well as Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder). You can read about our adventures with Zac on his own blog, Zachary’s Zoo.

2) My running schedule will go to pot. Three weeks of children at home full-time plus three weeks on the Isle of Wight will no doubt put paid to my plan of one long-but-slow run per week and two or three short-but-fast runs per week. My first ever proper race is just six weeks away and those six weeks are going to be chaotic. I’m starting to find myself craving routine and structure as much as Zac does!

Well, we’ll see what happens – I’ll have to take it a day at a time, and grab those running opportunities when I can.

Writing this at the end of Week 1, these have been the running opportunities so far…

Tuesday morning: Zac is at Parklands, his local Disabled Children’s Centre; Luca is at Football Academy for the day; and baby Lily-Rose is being looked after by Moby, one of our holiday helpers. So I manage a quick trip to the gym for a short and speedy 5K treadmill run (3.1 miles). So far, so good.

Wednesday evening: Children in bed (more or less), and I drive off to Chatham Maritime Marina for my Long Run. Following on from the success of my 7.3 mile run last week, I am aiming for over 8 miles. Using Google Maps Pedometer earlier in the day I worked out a circuit route of 8.6 miles. Eek! (There is an opportunity to bail out at 6.5 miles if I can’t make it all the way, but I'm hoping I won’t have to use it…)

I have a shiny new podcast to listen to, my knees are pain-free, and the evening is warm but breezy. I’m feeling optimistic!

I set off, enjoying the beautiful riverside views as the sun starts to set. Having grown up in a rather grim part of the concrete jungle that is south-east London, I never fail to appreciate the fantastic scenery and fresh air of the riverside town in which I now live.

The first 4 or 5 miles are uneventful and I’m feeling fairly comfortable, not pushing the pace too much (after all, this is supposed to be a “slow” run, according to Katie Bertie!), but then it begins to get tougher and I am once again aware of just how much a beginner I am.

It is starting to get pretty dark by now, and up ahead of me I see a “gang” of about 8 teenage lads heading towards me, one of them on a bike. Feeling slightly vulnerable I run past them, and they stare at me and several of them make comments (which I don’t catch), and they all laugh. Hmm… this is not so good. I know that I am almost at my “bail out” point, and I don’t want to use it. However, if I carry on and complete the whole 8.6 miles, I know that in a minute I will have to turn round and run past the lads again and, quite frankly, I’m a little scared.

But then I get annoyed with myself… 1) Why should I let a handful of teenagers spoil my running plans – especially when I’m doing so well? And 2), What am I afraid of anyway? Most people on the planet are basically pretty decent, and I should give these teenage lads the benefit of the doubt, and stop believing the hype and being such a scaredy-cat!

So, I reach the turning-point, and head back the way I have come and within a few minutes I see the lads up ahead of me, taking up the whole width of the footpath. Surely they can hear my footsteps behind them as I run towards them, but they don’t move out of the way at all and actually block me as I approach. I say “Excuse me” as I try to get past but they won’t let me through and in the end I just force my way through and carry on running, my heart pounding. I hear them laughing behind me and am convinced they are going to chase after me (especially the one on the bike), and I speed up as much as I can. The quote I began my last blog post with proves to be absolutely true!

But they don’t come after me.
That was pretty scary.
And I feel a bit stupid.
And I wonder whether I will want to carry on running alone when winter comes and the evenings are dark.

We’ll see.

Anyway, I complete my 8.6 mile route with no further incidents, in 1 hour and 22 minutes, which is the exact time it took me to run 7.3 miles last week. Katie Bertie must be giving me good advice as I seem to be getting a bit speedier!

Despite the encounter with the teenage lads, I am feeling euphoric as I drive home, partly from the endorphin rush that comes with exercise, and partly from the achievement of a new distance.

The next day, my running friend Dave Bertie (Katie’s husband) tells me that if I keep up the training, in a couple of years time an 8 mile run will feel like just a warm-up! I can’t imagine that, as it really had been a struggle, but it certainly gives me incentive to carry on!

Friday morning: an unexpected opportunity to visit the gym, and I clock up another 5 miles on the treadmill. That’s definitely going to be it for the week, but all things considered, three runs is pretty good. Let’s hope I can keep the training going in the weeks ahead.

Distance run (in miles): Tuesday 3.1, Wednesday 8.6, Friday 5.0
Total mileage this week: 19.8
Total mileage in July: 82.1
Total since starting blog (21/6/10): 132.1